Susan Berkley

Do you remember the first time you heard yourself on tape, on an answering machine or voice mail? You may have been shocked and thought: "Do I really sound like THAT?"

As you start to become aware of your voice you may feel it is:

- "Letting you down badly" - "Getting worse" - "Embarrassing you" and so on.

Actually, these reactions are very common. Here's why.

We tend to hold an idealized image of ourselves. But when something-- like a video camera or tape recorder-- shows us we are not as we thought, we flip to the opposite extreme and put ourselves down with a vengeance.

Learning or improving a skill requires that we first accept seeing ourselves objectively in order to grow or change. Yet many people find it hard to be objective and realistic, especially when it comes to something as personal as the sound of their own voice.

BE CAREFUL! While your voice may need improving, it's probably not as bad as you think. And the things you think are problems may not be problems at all.

Take nasality, for instance.

In my workshops and seminars, many people complain they sound nasal. Yet no one else in the room agrees with their self-assessment. Their voice sounds nasal to them because they are hearing it from inside their head where it is distorted by the bones of their skull.

Once they become aware of this phenomenon and realize they don't sound as bad as they thought, they feel less inhibited and communication becomes easier and more fun.

In general, we are neither as wonderful as we think nor as terrible as we imagine. In voice development and in life, you need the objective and supportive feedback of others. This feedback will keep you from becoming depressed about imagined shortcomings that don't exist, and keep you from making a fool of yourself because you are overly confident about a quality or skill-set that still needs work.

So if you are embarking on a voice improvement plan and are feeling a little disappointed, take heart! It's probably a good sign. Its shows you are at least open to looking at and working with your weak points. And this is something the clueless and incompetent know-it-all will never do.

From "The Voice Coach" ezine by Susan Berkley. Copyright 2005, reprinted with permission.